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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?